id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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