mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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