Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
