I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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