look no pants
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
