So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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