I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
