Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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