I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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