I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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