she was so not down for the gang bang
I feel great
I just peed on a car
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
