he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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