Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cockslap morals
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
