I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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