so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
