Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
