I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
