obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize