we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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