I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
