Cold hands, warm shart.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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