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Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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