I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
