if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
