names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
