So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
