Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
