For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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