Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize