I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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