I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
