how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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