he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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