i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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