I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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