Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
50% drunk capacity currently
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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