who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
