You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
