I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
