Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
