Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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