So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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