I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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