I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's official drugs can't kill me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
