In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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