I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
