If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
