i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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