Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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