I hope mine doesn't look like that
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
