Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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