one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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