my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
