Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
