omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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