Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize