just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize