my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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