If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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